Experts have shown that having kids raises a woman's IQ. I agree, but I also feel that it goes down a few years later. Why? Here's my theory: When a woman is pregnant or has just had a child, she reads and absorbs any and all information available that will keep her from accidentally killing her kids. After a few years, her IQ will go back down, or even lower than before because all energy is diverted to trying not to kill her kids intentionally!

Oh, just so you know. I've been trying to get a picture of me (a clear one), up on my profile. I've been wrestling with Tripod's editing tools for a good portion of the day, and still can't get it to work. Soon as I work it out, you will be informed!

Got this from Stephanie's Blog and I thought it was interesting. I've been to a lot more places than I thought. I didn't put places I just drove through though. Check it out.

Today, right in the middle of my 5 year old's gymnastics class, 3 idiot contractors come in with this HUGE extension ladder and start to erect it in the middle of the gym mats. One of the moms had the balls to ask them who to sue when a child gets hurt. They wisely decided to wait until after class was over. The funniest (scariest?) thing was that this ladder was so large & heavy that they almost dropped it before they even started putting it up. And they wanted to do this with 5 & 6 year olds running around? If you've read some previous entries, you know how I feel about ladders (not that fond of them, actually). Why can't I get the nerve to tell somebody off? I think I've only done it once in my life and it was to a co-worker who was exibiting some seriously low-intelligence behavior (He erased 3 months of bookkeeping on my computer at work).

My mid-afternoon meal calls, an EXCITING entree of poached breast of chicken with a sweet potato and broccoli florets! I shouldn't complain, I comfortably fit in my size 12 jeans today, now THAT's an accomplishment!

This is the most stupid diet on the planet!! People, get a clue! And I'm not mad just because a client cancelled on me. I am a consultant for a gourmet food company. I do in-home taste-testing parties. I was supposed to have one in 2 weeks. She cancelled because everyone she knows is doing Atkins and we have too many baked goods I guess. Good God!! If you can't leave the house to go to a party, stay home and leave me out of it! By the way, this explains how I feel about Atkins. Even my mom got sucked into Atkins. I'm sick of seeing Low-carb ANYTHING at the grocery store. Don't you know that they are fleecing you? Who do you think that money goes to? Somehow, they have managed to fabricate a study saying it's not all bad, and have slickly marketed it in such a way to make the most money! Sure I use Myoplex supplements, and yes I realize that EAS makes money off of it. But I don't NEED to use them. I just choose to, because the convenience of it overrides the price for me. It's 2 less meals a day that I have to worry about making. Aaaarrrgh! I'm not even sure why this bothers me so much. It's not like I'm the one stuffing myself with all those trans-fats! So while the Atkins peoople are in their 60's having a "grabber" (heart attack), I'm going to be in the best shape of my life, because I don't want to be just skinny or thin, I want to be healthy. At least I can have cake if I want to, so pbbtttthhh!

There are two things I should have learned by now: Never go to the store with both of my children, one or the other works, none is better. Those of you with children know what I'm talking about. Those of you without, you probably know too. How many times have you seen a mom look and sound like she was about to lose it and go off on her kids? That was me. Verrrrry attractive. Everytime I had to raise my voice to scold them (they don't hear me unless I'm about to rupture their eardrums, I swear), I feel like everyone is looking at me like I'm some horrible person. And I didn't need much either, it was, like, a 10 minute visit to the store. I wouldn't have even had them with me except that my 5 year old had ballet 2 doors down from the store.

On top of the two stress-inducing kids, it was busy so the lines were long. The candy bars were looking SO good! I need blinders when I'm there. For some reason I'm craving the junk this week. Usually that means that my monthly friend is right around the corner. Did I also mention it was pouring?? Plus, my husband took the day off of work and I couldn't waste as much time on the computer because he was hovering all the time. Unfortunately, I can't share with him that I have a blog, for starters, he doesn't understand why someone would want one at all, and secondly, he would flip out thinking I'm giving all our secret information out so people could get ahold of our untold wealth! He's totally paranoid about it. I'll probably never post pics of my kids, because he would have a stroke! Now I'm in a pissy mood. At least I can get an hour to myself when I make a delivery today. Tomorrow I'll feel better. Tomorrow is a cardio day!

The kitchen light fixtures are up! Yippee!! It only took us a combined 5 hours. Damned non-standard parts! I need to add a little background here. My husband, bless him, is not what you would call mechanically inclined. He does virtually no home repair projects if it involves tools. He has NO patience for it. I, on the other hand, love a good puzzle and a good challenge. When one of the toilets needed to be fixed, I decided to fix ALL of of them. This entailed draining the tank, disemboweling them, and putting it all back together. Amazingly, there were no leaks. So while my husband wasn't alltogether excited to do this project, I couldn't WAIT to tackle the electricity in the house! I'm so pleased with the results! I'll post a picture when I figure out how to use the digital camera. Unfortunately, it did create another project. We need to paint the ceiling where the fluorescent light was. That involves some sanding and a ladder. You know how I feel about ladders.

I totally flipped out on my husband yesterday as I was doing the dishes, I have been under a lot of stress this week. The little terrorists who are disguised as my daughters have nearly perfected their latest form of tourture. It involves repeatedly asking questions beginning with the word "Why" until Mom's head finally explodes from the constant assault! I've finally worked up a resistence to the "Can I have a snack?" torture. Still haven't figured out how to avoid "The Pincher". I really think I may have been exposed to something while I was pregnant with this one. From day one, she has received perverse pleasure in rolling or pinching my skin between her tiny fingers. I wake up to it nearly every morning. It's like Chinese water torture. The more I try to ignore it, the more it drives me mad!! Delightful child that she is, she seems to do it more when she needs her nails trimmed, OUCH! Their father is strangely immune to their methods. I'm starting to think it's a conspiracy.

I'm relieved to have my free day today. I've been craving Krispy Kreme's all week! My arms hurt so much after my workout yesterday that I can barely lift them. I feel like that person on Seinfeld who doesn't swing their arms when they walk! And oh, I think I had dreams about mayonnaise, bacon, and LOTS of bread! And chocolate! Now I like chocolate as much as the next person, but I'm not one of those people who get all orgasmic over even the thought of it....Until today! I can get a candy bar!! Or 2 or 3!! It will be all fun and games until the bloating and stomach cramps kick in. But it's worth it, oh yeah, it's worth it!

That's what I am right now, a blimp full of gas! My free day is nearly over. I had a few bowls of cheerios then for lunch we went to Smokey Bones BBQ. After the pulled pork and baked beans, I feel like I'm going to burst. Not only that, but the gas I'm producing could curl your hair! Even my husband is grossed out. I can't help it. Now I know why there is only one free day a week, I feel awful! I actually don't feel like eating for the rest of the day. Not even snacking. Strange, very strange.

We went to Menard's today and got a few new light fixtures for the kitchen. It SHOULD have been an easy swap out with the old fixture, but the support brackets weren't the same, and there was no place for the grounding screw to go in the new one. We tried drilling a hole, but after a few minutes and a few choice words, we realized we were screwed without a threader. Apparently its a specialized tool that will make threads in something so the screw will actually go in. So, we lost daylight as we were cursing out the manufacturer, and I now have two lovely wires and caps sticking out of my ceiling over my kitchen table and the husband has poker night. I considered going to the store, getting what I need and finishing the job, but it's a job that requires at least 3 hands, not to mention the fact that my legs get all shaky if I go higher than the second step on a ladder. I just don't trust those things. We used to have a wood one that we called the widowmaker because it was constantly swaying. Been wary of them ever since.