And what is a gauntlet anyway? Are they talking about those glove thingies that are worn with suits of armor?

After having ice cream for breakfast this morning, the kind that inspired this post, I have to say I'm disgusted with myself. Not even a year ago I was working out daily and had the eating thing down, no issues. Now? I think I'm preparing to hibernate.

Just as a guideline, I got on the scale today and promptly launched into a freak-out. I weigh more than I have in about 2 years. Wow did I get lazy.

So I went to the grocery store and got a whole bunch of vegetables, lean meat, yogurt, cottage cheese, and only healthy stuff.

The sad thing is I know how to do this, it's in the doing that I get hung up. I think I have this conversation in my head that being in shape is "too hard"! Well, it's a lot harder being out of shape and not looking good in clothes, not to mention getting winded going up the stairs.

So I have one thing to say.....

I just came to a realization. You remember that bodyfat challenge I took on? Well, I kinda forgot about it last week. I ate inconsistently, swinging from perfectly acceptable to total crap. And I didn't record any of it in FitDay. You know why? Because I didn't want to see what damage I may have done. Now it finally dawned on me that I'm not doing myself any favors by doing that. If I had recorded everything and seen that my calorie/fat/carb consumption was through the roof, I could have compensated and made some temporary changes to minimize the damage. But I didn't. I also received my Omron last week, and have yet to open the box. Can you say total denial? Well after seeing some of the female hardbodies in the gym, I have renewed motivation, so I'm back in the game. I'll give regular updates once a week, just to be accountable. Look for one later today.

So I thought I would have a tasty little breakfast of cottage cheese and strawberries. Rinsed the strawberries, cut them up, mixed them with the cottage cheese and a little bit of splenda. Sit down to nosh and read the paper, after the 3rd bite or so, I noticed that the berries taste, how shall we say, not so good. Being totally paranoid of anything that can cause intestinal distress, I dump my breakfast and make oatmeal with protein powder.

Yet I still can't shake the feeling that I may have inadvertently poisoned myself with the berries. Honestly, I'm not sure how long they have been in the fridge, but they were still firm and none of them had grown beards, so I figured they were safe. I feel queasy now, but don't know if it's due to the berries of TOM (I always feel vaguely nauseated the first few days. Sorry, TMI). So everytime I get a stomach twinge, or gurgling in my intestinal tract, I'm convinced that I'm going to be worshiping at the porcelain altar in no time. If I can't calm down in the next hour, I may take an Ativan or half a Xanax. I'm also exhausted, and I can't wait until Thursday. That is my daughter's first day of summer vacation, so I can sleep in. Oh God, that's her first day of summer vacation! She's going to be here all day. Every day. All summer long. Why was I looking forward to summer?

Well, today is the first day of my fat burning challenge. Guess I should have measured my body-fat, but I'll wait until I receive my Omron (going to order it today). The gym has one, so that will keep my measurements consistent. While I have built some muscle working out, it's not as obvious as I feel it should be because of my blubber layer. It's not a whole lot, but it's enough to frustrate me. Still have a doughy stomach (although, in all reality, that may not change given the HUGE stretch marks I have from my 2 pregnancies) and my thighs flop around. I also have those wonderful fat deposits under my arms where my breasts meet my armpits. I'm tired of it, it has to go, I no longer want it.

So, I have decided that I need to become a food nazi the next few weeks. I'm using FitDay to track everything I eat. I figure that's the only way to make sure I'm meeting my goals. I'm currently hovering around 28% body fat, and, Lord knows, that has to get lower. I have a 13 week goal, and we'll see how low I can go in 13 weeks. If I could drop to 20%, I would be happy, any lower, and I would be ecstatic!

So what does this all mean? Well, for one, no more unplanned meals. Also, free day is no more. I'm sure I was totally undoing all my hard work with my free day, so it goes. I may indulge in a free meal from time to time, but need to keep a handle on it. I'm keeping up the workouts from BFL, because I like them and it gets me in and out of the gym in a timely manner (when I pay per hour for child care, that's important). The cardio will stay BFL style, but I will add some here and there. I will take the kids in the bike trailer a few times a week (I wind up pulling about 80 lbs, if that's not cardio, nothing is!), and I'm going to walk every day, weather permitting. Not to mention, that I might try to squeeze in some yoga or pilates if I can get it in my schedule. So there it is, I've told you, so it's official. I will give updates weekly (not that you care, but I need to make myself feel accountable somehow). In 13 weeks, I should be a lot closer to how I REALLY want to look.
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Quick change of subject...I have around 6 people coming over tonight for our homework group (we are doing collages - don't ask). Anyhow, we need to feed them, and finger food is the best bet. Does anyone have some EASY ideas as to what to serve? I was thinking chinese (pot stickers, beef teriyaki sticks, egg rolls), but not everyone likes that, so I don't know. Or I was thinking taco dip, quesadillas, salsa & guacamole. I need something easy and quick! I have a full schedule today, so have NO time to cook!

That's what happens when PMS collides with Memorial Day weekend. Ugh. I feel like a total bloated hell-cow!!! I'm SO glad to be eating the "right" way today. During Schizo Week, my hunger has no off switch, and neither does that part of the brain that moves my hand to my mouth (usually while holding a fork or spoon). So needless to say, I wound up in a junky/fatty food induced coma yesterday afternoon. Felt like total shit last night (I was starting to believe that if I could just will myself to puke, everything would feel better - thank goodness I hate to throw up). But I'm not beating myself up over it. I did have a fantastic workout yesterday (shredded my shoulders and blasted the biceps), thanks in no small part to the fact that my husband joined me and I wiped his ass all over the gym. He hasn't worked out in about a year so he's seriously rusty, and whiny about it. I bench pressed 75 lbs, which I felt was a huge accomplishment. Definately want to try to increase that. Husband also paid me a great compliment, he said he had NEVER seen me work out so intensely before. I loved hearing the amazement in his voice. I may deny saying this later (PMS screws with my mind), but I can't wait for TOM to get here. As soon as it does, the bloating mysteriously goes away and I feel normal again. If you see the time on any new posts read sometime in the early A.M. (3 am or so), you know it's right around the corner. I become an insomniac (or a manic) for 2 days until I settle down again.

Already planning next weekend. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban comes out on Friday and I'm calling everone that said they want to go to confirm, then I'm buying tickets to see it on IMAX on Saturday. Saying I can't wait is an understatement. Saying I'm a dork -- probably an understatement also!

Damn. Had a homework party tonight for my Wisdom Course and the person that hosted it made stuffed pork chops, broccoli with cheese, corn with butter, mashed potatoes (with butter), salad with oil. Then the real torture started. One woman brought a homemade Snickers cheesecake. Ugh. I had a slice and now I'm regretting it. Instant headache and queasiness from all the rich food. So I'm taking today as this week's free day and this weekend I'll stick to the nutrition plan. I hate this. I had every intention of making good choices, and now I feel shitty for eating crappy food (you are what you eat!). At least I'm home now and no more crap can accidentally find it's way into my mouth.

Ok, so it's not a free day and I had a malted milk egg and a chocolate crunch coin (had to make sure there was no peanut butter in them for my daughter). I also only had 4 of my 6 meals tomorrow. I don't think those two pieces are going to break me. It was medicinal and therapeutic, yeah, that's it. It's that time of month and if I didn't have it I'd go APESHIT on ya buddy!!!

It's been a good week, strangely aligned, and I wonder how long it's going to last. Came home Monday from San Diego to find 3 messages on my voice mail. Two people want to buy what I sell, and another wants to book a party with me....awesome. Then I'm trying to put together an open house with other vendors like Pampered Chef & MaryKay, and one of the ladies gives me a lead on an expo event next weekend. Now that company policy allows me to do cash and carry, I'm there! Then tonight I go to pick up my leather jacket that's been at a clients house since NOVEMBER!!! And what do I find in the pockets??? My favorite gap gloves, a Clinique liquid lipstick that I LOVE, and six bucks!! My cold suddenly feels like it left me for good (but it could just be the Tylenol Sinus and chicken soup talking). If I can get through my workout tomorrow without hacking up a lung, I'm good!

Also, I think I had the best LBWO EVER on Wednesday! I decided to suck it up and tackle some free weights, so I did squats with the "little" barbells. Started at 20 lbs. and worked up to 50lbs. Felt great while doing them, today, I cannot get up and down the stairs, or off and on the toilet without assistance. Plus my ass muscles (glutes) actually ache. Seven weeks doing BFL, and my ass finally got a decent workout. Cardio this morning was a bitch but I got through it ok. I'm wearing my size 12's and they are slowly but surely feeling just a bit roomier. Still doubting whether or not I'll reach my goal of wearing a size 8 or getting down to 20% body fat, but any improvement is good at this point. If my next 5 weeks go as well as I hope, I'll be rarin' to go into challenge #2. I am getting close to what my husband charmingly calls MILF (If you are not familiar with the term, rent American Pie).

...and I'm doing OK. I was hoping for better numbers at this point, but that may be asking for the world. I've had my obligatory Four Week Freakout. According to the body fat doo-dad at the gym I went down .5% body fat, but when I compare numbers it looks like my lean body mass when down by almost 3 lbs. I know those numbers are tricky and that reading might not be entirely accurate, but I don't trust the guys at the gym any more with calipers than I would with high-school algebra, so that's what I have to go on.

In a nutshell, I lost 5.3 lbs and 6.75" total. I haven't been sleeping all that well. After getting sufficient rest and a steady schedule of solid night time sleep, I may see more muscle gain. Skwigg was nice enough to send me to this article titled Sleep's Healing Properties and another one Rest to Gain Muscle. I NEED to take that advice!! Thanks Skwigg! It's just been near impossible since my DH had been gone, and now I feel like I have a bit of a sleep deficit. I've been napping every day with my kids so that helps, but I'm having the damndest time falling and staying asleep at night. I actually may have to call the doctor soon. I'm concerned that this cold may have mutated into a sinus infection. If that's the case, antibiotics are in order. Starting Monday night, I'm going to go to bed at 9:30 every night. That way I can get a solid 8.5 hours a night and hopefully feel a LOT better by the end of the week.

Drum roll please....it was ABS!! It was so goddamn hot in the gym that by the time I was done with calves I thought I was gonna puke or pass out (or God forbid - both). So I decided to take a stab at abs, but it just made me feel worse, so I half-assed them to get through the workout. By the time I got home I nearly passed out on the cold leather couch. Thank goodness I felt better after a while. It's getting to be a habit that I crap out on one muscle group every workout (but it always varies, it's never the same one). The husband left for Amsterdam (business trip....no, really!)and I am left to my own devices with the two little terrorists. Maybe I can make them play outside later.

By the way, check out some of the blogs I posted links to. A Girl Named Bob is one of my new favorites. I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe and I nearly peed my pants. How's that for a recommendation! Go check it out!

That's what I am right now, a blimp full of gas! My free day is nearly over. I had a few bowls of cheerios then for lunch we went to Smokey Bones BBQ. After the pulled pork and baked beans, I feel like I'm going to burst. Not only that, but the gas I'm producing could curl your hair! Even my husband is grossed out. I can't help it. Now I know why there is only one free day a week, I feel awful! I actually don't feel like eating for the rest of the day. Not even snacking. Strange, very strange.

We went to Menard's today and got a few new light fixtures for the kitchen. It SHOULD have been an easy swap out with the old fixture, but the support brackets weren't the same, and there was no place for the grounding screw to go in the new one. We tried drilling a hole, but after a few minutes and a few choice words, we realized we were screwed without a threader. Apparently its a specialized tool that will make threads in something so the screw will actually go in. So, we lost daylight as we were cursing out the manufacturer, and I now have two lovely wires and caps sticking out of my ceiling over my kitchen table and the husband has poker night. I considered going to the store, getting what I need and finishing the job, but it's a job that requires at least 3 hands, not to mention the fact that my legs get all shaky if I go higher than the second step on a ladder. I just don't trust those things. We used to have a wood one that we called the widowmaker because it was constantly swaying. Been wary of them ever since.