OK, finally got these in MP3 format. The quality sucks (as does the audio quality, it's coming off of a 45 record that is at least 15 years old, so it's a bit scratchy sounding, but it clears up in a few seconds).

These will stay up for a few days, or until the assasination droids find me and shut me down.

UPDATE: How come no one told me you couldn't access the Wookie one? It's been fixed, just so you know. Not that you really want to listen to it.

1. The Good: Yesterday Emily had a fantastic day. Starting off in the morning, she decided she wanted to learn how to ride her bike without training wheels. So off they came (off the little bike). Steve took her to the school parking lot and they were back within an hour, him walking, and her riding like she's been doing it forever. She also lost her second tooth, which surprised all of us.

Then that evening at the neighbor's pool, her and the neighbor girl seemed to be silently daring each other to try thing they wouldn't have considered before. Like going off the diving board and the slide without their floaties. If you had seen what she was like the first time in the pool this year, you would understand why this is such a big deal.

Sadly, the events of that day made me feel like my little girl was growing up awfully fast in the span of a day.

2. The Bad: I stayed up a little late because I wanted some time to myself, plus I'm at that time of the month where I get one night where I'm a total insomniac. So after getting caught in the train wreck that is "Showgirls" on VH1, including digitally added bras (badly I must say). I stumbled up to bed with Em at 1:30. She had been asleep on the couch. I wake up an hour later to her stirring in bed (why I put her in our bed I'll never know). I tried to ignore it, but she got up, went to the bathroom and came back crying. She said her ear hurt, itched, and felt like it was blocked up. I did what I could in my sleep stupor, and gave her some Benedryl in the hope of it knocking her on her ass enough to get some sleep. Somehow in the trip to the medicine cabinet, I made the call to her school that she wouldn't be coming in on one hour of sleep. She dozed a little, but we basically got no more quality sleep after that. I think she got some water in her ear from swimming.

She's been crying for daddy all day and looks absolutely exhausted. She did nap shortly, but I'm hoping she gets a good night's sleep tonight, since tomorrow is her last full day of school.

3. The Ugly: Because I don't want to let the cool air-conditioned air out of the house and because I don't want critters moving in, I always tell my girls to make sure all doors are closed. Especially when Snickers is out of his cage, because we don't need to be losing him.

Well, today, my reminders went forgotten and something of the critter variety came in our house. Becca was sleeping on the couch while Em and I were playing PS2. A small movement in the corner of my eye catches my attention. Lo and behold there is a sparrow in our house enjoying the A/C. I figure, no problem. We'll just close the one door, and open the more obvious one and encourage him the heck out of here.

He had other plans. I don't even know everything he landed on, but I think I have to scrub anything that was exposed on the entire first floor, especially in the kitchen. I thought I had him cornered upstairs, but then the bugger slipped under the door to Becca's room. Well now that I had him cornered I thought it would be so easy. Um, no.

Steve joined me and for forty-five hilarious fun-filled minutes we were coaxing that bird out of all sorts of cosy hidey holes and I was of course screaming every time it took flight. If it were a tame bird, I'd have no problem, but I was afraid of this bird hurting itself as it flung itself at the windows in a desperate attempt at escape. Exhausted, we finally cornered the poor thing and trapped it in a box, got it outside and let it go, minus a few feathers lost as it careened off the ceiling and walls.

At one point, Steve cursed and said it had no meaning. I countered that it was certainly full of meaning. He wanted to play bird baseball, I protested, telling him I wasn't about to clean that mess out of my little girl's room.

I do however have a mess to clean. Lest you think we got the best of that bird unscathed, I offer you what remains of Becca's room.

Remember a while back when I said I owned a certain album?

Well, my brother in law has the MP3's for me, he just needs to figure out how to get them to me as his free email doesn't like the file size. I'm hoping *crosses fingers* I get it today. Then I can share them with you for a short time.

That is all for now.

There's a homeowner in our neighborhood that has recieved special permission from the city to let his yard grow wild to create a habitat of native plants. By the end of summer this house becomes a major eyesore, especially since it is right off of one of the busiest roads in town. But then last fall, I noticed some strange green mesh-like material going on top of his roof (well, more specifically an overhang). As I'm staring at it while stopped at the light I'm thinking, "That looks like the stuff they use to seed lawns. No, it can't be."

Well my dear readers, yes, yes it is. It has started to grow. Now I understand the philosophy behind it, but it's certainly not the prettiest yard to look at. But that's not what bother's me the most. What disturbs bother's me is the garage door painted with geese flying out of a marsh at sunset (circa 1970, in the brown/orange color family, for some reason it makes me think of Boogie Nights). It is one of the most tacky things I have seen in a long time. I can't help but think that the person living there is an aging has-been hippie.

That was the sound Emily made when she pulled out her tooth this afternoon!

I had no idea she had it in her. This from a girl who is all squirrley about pain and blood and she just yanked it right out!

After my head cleared (it did bleed quite a bit - it made my head swim a little), we put it in a tiny little tooth pillow she got from her Kelly Doll and put it under her pillow with a note to the Tooth Fairy to leave the tooth so she can show her daddy when he gets back.

She's also thrilled, because she lost it before her cousin (who is three months younger) lost his.

I still can't believe she pulled it out herself!!

Boy, I oughta get a few good visitors from that title.

You know if the crocheted vulvas weren't enough, Noelle at The Little Hedgehog alerted me to something far more disturbing.

Frightening Ski Masks

Be sure to read the comments. No shit, I had tears rolling down my face and I think I peed my pants a little.

DISCLAIMER: Peggy, I'm SO sorry if this is the first post you see when visiting. You may just want to move to the next post.

I'm always bitching (in my own head) how I need to apply those crocheting skilz I have.

Well, thanks to Screenhead, I have a project for next winter.....not.

I don't think I can go around wearing these Ear Muffs found at, I kid you not, Crochet My Crotch (NOT work safe). As they state:

If you have ever wondered to yourself, "Gee, my life would be perfect if ONLY I had a crocheted vulva?" -- and who hasn't -- then this is the place for you.

I used Round Up the other day on some thistle, and various other weeds that plague my yard.

I sprayed the Creeping Charlie that is under the kids playgym (it's all over our backyard too, but I didn't want to kill the grass).

Charlie laughed at my attempts. While the thistle and others are shriveled and brown as they should be, Charlie is still hanging out, just as he was two days ago. I don't really mind Charlie as he is pretty with his purple flowers, and he smells good underfoot, it's just that Charlie doesn't play well with Lawn. Charlie is a bit of a bully. He invades Lawn's turf and refuses to leave.

My new landscaper even laughs at the thought of evicting Charlie. "Can't be done" she said.

Some people look down at my friendship with Charlie. I figure taking the path of least resistence is best. Since Charlie will keep coming back no matter what I do, I might as well accept that he is a permanent squatter resident in my backyard.

Well, I ruined my perfect manicure last night by sliding down the stairs. We have carpeted stairs and I have big feet, so if I step just a little too far to the edge of the tread, I go sliding down feet first with no hope of recovery.

Despite that fact, I still was grappling for the railing to try to stop my high speed descent. It was during this futile attempt at deceleration that two of my acrylic nails snapped off.

Seriously, if I go more that two days without falling down (or up) the stairs, or jamming my foot into a doorway or corner I consider it a blessing.

Is anyone else this clumsy? Are you willing to admit it?

I'm gonna be such a fun old person, when the accidents can cause more damage.

Took Becca to her gymnastics class at noon. As we were pulling out of the parking lot to leave afterwards, I decided to count how many Honda Odysseys were parked in the lot that holds, at most, 30 cars.

1, 2, 3........7, 8, 9. (NINE!)

Nine of the same kind of minivan. About 4 of those were the same color as mine. This is why I attached a silk flower to my antenna. When I pick Emily up from school, it is not uncommon for me to be in a consecutive row of 3 of the same make and color of minivan.

And to answer any questions about the title, these minivans are like bellybuttons in my neighborhood, everybody has one!